Hi guys. I would like to tell you about the last seminar I attend. The seminar is in Bahasa Indonesia but I will translate it for you. It is called “Understanding and Nurturing Our Children’s Fitrah” by Ustadz Harry Santosa. Fitrah is an Arabic word that has been translated as a natural tendency, human nature, common sense, or a natural predisposition. Ustadz Harry Santosa himself is an education expert and practitioner with 20 years experience on this subject.
He said that educating a children can be done with Tazkiatun Nafs, meaning to get ourself closer to Allah. Moreover, we should have a family mission that meets with the purpose Allah has created us for. He further explains that our mission should be to give benefit and rahmat (love) to the world, and that we should base our child education to that mission.
In fact, there are some good points that I get from the seminar. Here they are.
1. Tarbiyah your child
Tarbiyah means to grow, to develop, to nurture (not to cram). We often told our children to take piano course, gym class, taekwondo course, math course, drawing course, and lots of other courses that we think our child need them. We force them to do so, at the same time we are not watching what they really aspire to do, we are not hearing what they are telling us all this time, we are not aware of what exactly their talent are. Harry Santosa said that we should jot down activities that our child is eager to do, the ones that he/she has been waited with high enthusiasm. These activities will give us a clue of their talent. Importantly, we should know their strengths, and then try to grow them, not to cram them with our ideal picture of what a child should be capable of doing at their age. It is my friend, Inside out, not Outside in.
2. Raise your child, raise yourself
On the seminar, they played Marcus Buckingham’s video, The Truth About You. Ever since watching that video, I am more curious about him and his ideas. One of Marcus’s admired ideas is to find your strengths and embrace it. If you succeeded in finding your child’s strengths, I bet you can easily find yours. Together you and your child can nurture each one’s talent, and by doing that, while you raise your child, you are also raise yourself.
3. Child’s age and its relation with parents closeness
At the beginning of their life, children should get closer to their mom than to their dad. A baby should get breastfeed (or formula or both ;D) with their mom’s arms around them. And also gentle eye contact, loving smile, and sweet voices from the person they already familiar with for 9 months in the womb.
From the age 3-7, there is no preference, while from the age 7-10, a boy should learn basic skills for a man from their father, and a girl should learn basic skills for a woman from their mother. So at this age, dad should do house maintenance by himself (or at least pretend and finish it later with the help of a maintenance guy) and show it their boys. While mom should sew clothes with actual needle and thread, cook some food (or at least pretend and have a finished product from a store) and show it to their girls. A boy should learn what are basic things men should know about and what basic skills men should capable of, the same things applied to a girl.
Next, boys age 10-14 should get closer to their mom, so that they will know how to treat women appropriately, and girls should get closer to their father, so that they wouldn’t find other (who might be dangerous) person to replace their dad’s position in their heart.
4. Child’s age and its relation with the role of parents
I will elaborate this also on the next time I’m online 😀
Lastly, one of the most important thing on this seminar is that we should emphasize on the Why, not on the How or What, while educating our child. It suggests that we should teach our children to act based on love and reason, based on their consciousness, not because we told them to.
In fact, if you are interested more on this topic, you can attend their next event on April 30th, 2016. See you there, folks.