Posted in Self Motivation

I Got to Meet 3 Young Inspiring Women

Hi again! Last Saturday I was scrolling down my Eventbrite app, and find a quite interesting event nearby at Kemang, South Jakarta on Sunday, April 25th, 2016. I went there and find out that it is a talkshow about finding our role as a woman for family, society and for Indonesia. Three young speakers consecutively share their thoughts and experience about their life and business journey on that morning, here they are.

  1. Dita Fridianti (di-ta.com), Founder of Difa Oral Health Center (difaoralhealthcenter.com)

Dita said that you have to be careful of what you wish for, because it really is happened to her. The Difa Oral Health Center is the product of what she aforementioned years before. Not sure what she want to do after 10 years of dentist school, she saw a sign for a change in her life, which is her mom was very supportive of her oral health clinic idea rather than any other ideas she ever had. Then she gathered some of  her friends, offering them partnership, and then launching the Difa OHC dentist clinic. She further remarks that we better off plunge ourself into our dream business, make mistakes, and learn from that mistakes, rather than go back-and-forth doubting yourself and never begin to start.

 

2. Nike Prima, Founder of livingloving.net.

Nike is a mom who had a diverse job experience before she found livingloving.net with her work partner, Miranti. She isn’t too fond of the idea of brainstorming. Allegedly she recommended the use of a visualized concept rather than tons of spoken ideas on a brainstorming session. Good point I think. We can avoid time wasted uttering things and just get straight to the printed concept that can be seen and discussed.

Furthermore, she stated that a dream job is still a job. In fact, one of the hardest thing to do is to find the right partner to help you work it. She then added a very clever tips to sort it out: you can collaborate with your potential partner in a one-stop-project to find out his/her ways of working. Are you completing each other’s weaknesses, or are you weakening each other? A one-stop-project would give you a clue to answer those question before you failed your undelved partnership.

 

3. Manda Kumala, Founder of Kartika Jaya Catering (facebook.com/kartikajayacatering).

Similar with Dita, Manda also states that what has spoken in the past is what is going to happen in the future. She believes that if you intensify your worship to Allah, such as pray tahajud and 6 rakaah dhuha, accelerated outcome will transpire.

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Sitting from the left to right: Widya (moderator), Dita Fridianti, Manda Kumala, and Nike Prima 

The one thing in common spoken by the three speakers is that you just have to jump and make your dream come true. Just jump and be brave!

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Thanks for the goodie bag!

After the talkshow, I managed to purchase two interesting sponsor products. The first one is Diva, which is mix berries beauty drink with 1000 mg collagen for your skin elasticity, and then Slim&Fit, high protein and high fiber milk, with less sugar, low saturated fatty acid, and high calcium for your total diet solution. Diva tastes a little bit sour and sweet, you better drink it after meal I think. I haven’t taste Slim&Fit yet, since it is not recommended to be consumed by pregnant or breastfeeding mommy. However, I’m planning to consume Slim&Fit daily. One glass at breakfast after fruit, and then lunch with a complete meal, and another glass of Slim&Fit after some veggies at dinner time. Together with some workouts, I believe it will help me getting my ideal bodyweight. Yeahhh! Welcome sixpack abs! Come to mama!

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Who wouldn’t want to be slim and fit?
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Posted in Education

Fitrah Based Education for Children

Hi guys. I would like to tell you about the last seminar I attend. The seminar is in Bahasa Indonesia but I will translate it for you. It is called “Understanding and Nurturing Our Children’s Fitrah” by Ustadz Harry Santosa. Fitrah is an Arabic word that has been translated as a natural tendency, human nature, common sense, or a natural predisposition. Ustadz Harry Santosa himself is an education expert and practitioner with 20 years experience on this subject.

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He said that educating a children can be done with Tazkiatun Nafs, meaning to get ourself closer to Allah. Moreover, we should have a family mission that meets with the purpose Allah has created us for. He further explains that our mission should be to give benefit and rahmat (love) to the world, and that we should base our child education to that mission.

In fact, there are some good points that I get from the seminar. Here they are.

1. Tarbiyah your child

Tarbiyah means to grow, to develop, to nurture (not to cram). We often told our children to take piano course, gym class, taekwondo course, math course, drawing course, and lots of other courses that we think our child need them. We force them to do so, at the same time we are not watching what they really aspire to do, we are not hearing what they are telling us all this time, we are not aware of what exactly their talent are. Harry Santosa said that we should jot down activities that our child is eager to do, the ones that he/she has been waited with high enthusiasm. These activities will give us a clue of their talent. Importantly, we should know their strengths, and then try to grow them, not to cram them with our ideal picture of what a child should be capable of doing at their age. It is my friend, Inside out, not Outside in.

2. Raise your child, raise yourself

On the seminar, they played Marcus Buckingham’s video, The Truth About You. Ever since watching that video, I am more curious about him and his ideas. One of Marcus’s admired ideas is to find your strengths and embrace it. If you succeeded in finding your child’s strengths, I bet you can easily find yours. Together you and your child can nurture each one’s talent, and by doing that, while you raise your child, you are also raise yourself.

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3. Child’s age and its relation with parents closeness

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At the beginning of their life, children should get closer to their mom than to their dad. A baby should get breastfeed (or formula or both ;D) with their mom’s arms around them. And also gentle eye contact, loving smile, and sweet voices from the person they already familiar with for 9 months in the womb.

From the age 3-7, there is no preference, while from the age 7-10, a boy should learn basic skills for a man from their father, and a girl should learn basic skills for a woman from their mother. So at this age, dad should do house maintenance by himself (or at least pretend and finish it later with the help of a maintenance guy) and show it their boys. While mom should sew clothes with actual needle and thread, cook some food (or at least pretend and have a finished product from a store) and show it to their girls. A boy should learn what are basic things men should know about and what basic skills men should capable of, the same things applied to a girl.

Next, boys age 10-14 should get closer to their mom, so that they will know how to treat women appropriately, and girls should get closer to their father, so that they wouldn’t find other (who might be dangerous) person to replace their dad’s position in their heart.

4. Child’s age and its relation with the role of parents

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I will elaborate this also on the next time I’m online 😀

Lastly, one of the most important thing on this seminar is that we should emphasize on the Why, not on the How or What, while educating our child. It suggests that we should teach our children to act based on love and reason, based on their consciousness, not because we told them to.

In fact, if you are interested more on this topic, you can attend their next event on April 30th, 2016. See you there, folks.

 

Posted in Family

My long distance marriage

Hello readers. Thank you for visiting my blog. I would like to introduce myself. My name is Dhiny. I am an Indonesian woman, a wife, and a mother of a beautiful daughter and a handsome son who has a particular interest in family, parenting, and child education issues.

On this time, I would like to tell you about my long distance marriage (LDM). Currently, my marriage is 7 years old. However, since we are in an LDM, our real marriage life can be cut in half, which is only 3,5 years old :D. I basically dislike LDM. We have to bear this condition because my husband works in an oil company in Middle East country, while me and our family live in Indonesia, one of South East Asia countries. That’s a 9 hours flight away. He works 5 weeks there, and then went home for a 5 weeks holiday (with his phone and laptop still connected to the company network, so it’s not a pure holiday). In fact, I would like to tell you about the beautiful and awful side of LDM if you don’t mind. The awful side first.

  1.  I miss him, so do my children. Oh so cliche.

Well you know what, there’s a trick to handle this ‘missing you’ thing. In my mind, I would compile all my emotion, place it inside a plastic container box, and then put it in a freezer. I would not open that box until my husband arrives 😀

However, my children  couldn’t do this awkward trick yet (of course!). They ask for their father every time they miss him.

“Where is papa?”

“When will papa come home?”

“Lilan wants to swim with papa”.

“It’s raining! Lilan wanna slide in the garage floor with papa”.

Sometime those sentences melt my heart, but not anymore. My children should learn that their father will not be around for 5 weeks regularly. I’m so mean :p

2.   I am experiencing “there’s no way I am having a depression but I think I do”.

If the trick in point number 1 succeed, I will be fine. If it’s not, I know that I will be experiencing unstable emotions. Sometimes I cry and wonder why our family should be separated since the beginning of our marriage. When will it end? Sometimes I am grateful that my husband is away so I can have more time to socialize with my friends, do my favorite things, and have less cooking time ;D.

3.   You know what a wife need from her husband. Physically.

Whoaaaa..this is the hardest point in LDM. You can’t get a kiss whenever you want to. You can’t cuddle with your husband whenever you need it. You can’t get attached with your hubby whenever you wish for it. You can only do those things in 5 weeks time span. The next 5 weeks is fasting time.

4.  Hi Dhiny! Where is your husband? (I’m kinda socially single).

From wedding invitation to a neighbour just asking by, I look like a lonely person without a spouse. I feel rather insecure sometimes. Especially at night. A family needs a mature man in the house I suppose.

Well that’s the end for the awful side. Now let’s move to the beautiful side.

  1. It always feels like a first date on the day he arrives.

It’s our family tradition to go to the airport to welcome him home. My heart beating excitedly while we’re looking for him to appear from the arrival gate. Lovely hugs, kisses, smiles, and sweet talks will then accompany us on the way home. Oh love is in the air!

2. We have less arguments because we are too busy missing each other.

Well, this happen maybe about a week or two after the arrival. After that, we’re a normal family you know. We argue about things, our children, our finance, our habits, etc. But almost every difficult argument ends with a sweet reconciliation. And it makes us knowing each other better, and strengthen our marriage.

3. Everyday is a weekend when he is home.

Hahaha. This is the fun part. Almost everyday we go out for a breakfast,  or a lunch, or a dinner, or a date, or a breakfast followed by a family trip until night. Our entertainment budget surely has it’s peak on this time, and has it’s bottom when he’s away. Necessarily, going out almost everyday  will make us exhausted, but it’s not. Our happy energy makes us healthier than the 5 weeks lonely time of rarely going anywhere when he is on duty.

4. I got my parents or my parents in law at home more often than other family.

My children is my parents in law first grandchildren. They visit us more often than my parents. What I mean with a visit here is a week or two stay at my house. It’s kinda great for my children and me, we are not feeling lonely because of their presence. However, we are a different family with different values. Sometimes I have to adapt with them, and sometimes they have to adapt with me. It’s normal. I rather have them with all the adaptation needed, rather than not having them here.

Okay, that’s it for now. I hope you got something from my writing. It’s my first post you know. So you have to be gentle :p. Later, I will swim into parenting topics. I will give a review on the latest parenting seminar I attend, and also the latest parenting books I read. Can’t wait 😉